A grassy field with mountains in background. Photo by Lachlan Ross on Pexels.com.
I waste a lot of my life searching for inspiration, or maybe using the excuse that that’s what I’m doing, when really what I’m doing is scrolling mindlessly through facebook, getting trapped in the youtube wormhole, or sorting through old files on my computer. I’ve always been a good procrastinator. Probably it comes naturally at some level, but the pro-procrastinator quickly realizes that she has to come up with excellent reasons for her procrastination. One of mine is that I just haven’t “felt that spark” to start writing yet, so I need to wait a little longer until it comes. More often than I would like, the process continues until the spark of desperation, rather than inspiration, arrives, and I realize I have a quickly approaching deadline and have to get to it.
While this strategy is effective in situations where there is a firm external deadline, it is utterly useless in situations, like my own independent projects, where the only deadline is set, and can easily be adjusted, by me. This leads me to believe that my “search for inspiration” method leaves a lot to be desired, and is probably seriously stunting my productivity, especially because I’m not sure I’ve ever actually been struck by inspiration while on these absent wanderings through the virtual environment.
People have different opinions about the way creativity works. I’ve heard some say that “forcing” creativity is not even possible, but I don’t see how that jibes with the centuries of commissioned music and art that we consider among the most magnificent human works in history. As far as I can tell, if you don’t dig the well, you’ll never get the water. I’m not saying digging wells is necessarily the most fun… it’s a sweaty task, and you could be exposing yourself to some poisonous gases on the way, but it’s worth it when you finally have a source of fresh, clean water at your disposal. Keep in mind, too, that the more you dig wells, the better you will be at doing it. It will always be work, but you will grow in strength, technique, and efficiency as you go.
I feel like if I applied my “search for inspiration” method to digging a well, it would be like wandering around a field waiting for a shovel to fall out of the sky and start hacking at the ground of its own volition while I busy myself examining daisies and cloud formations. A toddler could tell me that ain’t gonna get me water, but for some reason I’m convinced it’ll one day bring me art.
Alls I’m saying is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results is the definition of insanity… and I’m tired of being creatively insane.
There is an assignment this semester for one of my classes that asks us to create a musical tapestry, that is, a collection of songs that reflect different stages or elements of our lives.For the assignment, we are also supposed to involve various music therapy concepts and research, but it gave me the idea of preserving the music that is meaningful to me now, so that I can look back on it in the future.
I think perhaps I will organize this by month, or maybe season, so here are some of the most significant songs for me this fall.
“Leaving on a Jet Plane”, John Denver
Because I did, you know, leave on a jet plane, and left everyone in my country behind… I was thrilled to be going, but there is that piece of you that does “hate to go” even so.
“The Parting Glass”, Ed Sheeran
There are many variations of this song, and this is not the first one I heard, but it was playing in the airport just as I was about to board the plane for Ireland, which I thought was cool, given it’s an Irish song as far as I know.
“Gold”, from Once
Again, the Irish connection, but actually I just love this song in general, and have been listening to it pretty regularly for a while.
“My Heart Is Filled With Thankfulness”, Keith & Kristyn Getty
I love Ghetty hymns, but this one has been particularly relevant lately because my heart IS SO FILLED with thankfulness to the Lord for his provision in recent times.A year ago, I never would have thought I would be in another country 12 months on from then.I wanted a job, not more education.I certainly wasn’t crazy enough to actually think an international move was in my future, but God had other plans, and he’s been so faithful with every question mark and concern in the process.
“Empty”, Ray LaMontagne
Just such a nice sound, and reminds me a bit of Tennessee and Virginia.
“Let it be Me”, Ray LaMontagne
“Boston”, Mick Flannery
Such a sweet song.I saw Mick Flannery in concert at my university a couple of weeks ago, and this was one of the only songs I really loved.
“No Name”, Ryan O’Shaughnessy
Granted, I’ve always adored this song.
“Eve, The Apple of My Eye”, Bell X1
Good song.
Okay, if you don’t like Damien Rice, stop here, because every other song is one of his from here on out hahaha.A friend and fellow musician here introduced me officially to Irish song writer Damien Rice, and I’m kind of in love with a lot of his songs.I tried to narrow it down to a couple for this, but I just couldn’t!
“Older Chests”, Damien Rice
Just really pretty
““Volcano”, Damien Rice
I like duets.
“The Blower’s Daughter/Elephant”,“, Damien Rice
My first favorite. ❤
“Colour Me In”, Damien Rice
My second first favorite! Ah I can’t even it’s just so good!
Wow, that was more extensive than I thought it would be, but kind of cool to see all the songs I have been listening to on repeat for the last few weeks all laid out in a list.I didn’t realize how many Irish song writers and singers were on this list until now haha.Irish people just write good music… what can I say?
I’m a musician, and melody is a constant presence in my life. My roommates can attest to that. They often comment, or tease, about my humming, and singing, and piano improvising at all times of the day, and occasionally the night. I think maybe that’s what makes me appreciate birdsong so much. They are participating in the same music-making that fuels my energy from hour to hour, and it’s life-giving, enchanting, even.
It reminds me of all the Disney princesses that make friends with birds. Cinderella, Snow White, Mary Poppins (although she’s not exactly a princess), either way they all have this magically musical relationship with winged whistlers of various varieties, and in a way it’s quite representative of the reality. There is something magical about it, an animal that can produce music at will, and does so as a regular part of their routine. There aren’t many other animals like that. May it serve as a reminder to make magic with our own music in our own routines.
Art is an earthly representation of the creative power of God, dim and weak in comparison, but undoubtedly so. We are made in his image, and being made in his image we display, like him, the ability to create and to breath life into our creations. As an artist, I often find that my creations die too early, or, at least, do not reach full maturity because I forsake them, citing their imperfections as my excuse.
And then it struck me. What if God had done that with his imperfect art?
All things were good when he made them—perfectly good—but they did not stay that way. God gave his creatures a will, a will which could choose to follow him or turn from him. In turning from him, we turned from perfection, and thus into imperfection.
Still, God did not do as I would have done. He did not forsake his art. Rather, he pursued it, even became a part of it when he saw fit to take the form of a babe, born amongst peasants, suffer the lowly, hungry life of a working man, and was denied and crucified by the very imperfect creations he had come to pursue and perfect.
How many songs have I left unsung? How many stories and poems and articles have I left undeveloped and unfinished due to my petty frustration over their iniquities? Undoubtedly hundreds, but I am thankful that God shows me a different way. Even now I am tempted to leave this bit of writing undone. I am tempted to quit the document and never look back at it, too unsatisfied with this sentence, or that word, or the whole concept in general… but I, too, am an imperfect creation, and my creator did not abandon me to non-existence due to my defects. As an artist, I have a responsibility to my art to develop it, to give it at least a chance at life, even considering its deficiencies.
Thus, as an expression of my thanks in this regard, I hope to be a more responsible creator in the coming year. In my quest to become more like Jesus, I hope that I will pursue my art, like he did, and gift it existence even when I feel it doesn’t deserve it. Here begins my fight against perfectionism, which has long been the, often victorious, enemy of my work. It will be a long-fought battle, of that I am certain, but if it was worth it to God, it is worth it to me.
Opportunity Unleashed 