The next installment of my pregnancy updates is here! Click here to view it, and thanks for following along!
In the interest of catching you up on the pregnancy journey and my thoughts on motherhood so far, you can watch my update from my 26th week of pregnancy here.
As always, thanks so much for joining, and if you want to hear more updates like this, feel free to subscribe to my youtube channel directly.
Excited to share the next installment of my pregnancy journey! This week, I talk about baby’s development so far, my blind parenting tip of the week, symptoms (including one that might be TMI, so feel free to skip those few moments of the video), plus some of my thoughts at the time on parenting fears etc.
Check out my newest video here
And come back next week for more updates!
I’ve had a few false starts with publishing youtube videos, but it’s mostly because I feel a bit uncomfortable with the vulnerability of filming. Somehow it feels much less personal to publish written posts on my blog, rather than record something with audio and visuals, but I have felt for a long time that I have a responsibility at some level to share my experiences as a blind person, and now particularly as a blind parent, in order to inform others about the capabilities of blind people.
I’ve always enjoyed watching pregnancy updates on youtube, but have never seen one by a blind content creator. I thought making my own might therefore be a great way to reflect on my experiences throughout pregnancy, while also sharing about blind parenting techniques. More than anything, I hope the thing people take away from this video is the utter “ordinariness” of my experiences, despite my unusual perspective as someone with a visual impairment.
In this first video, enjoy hearing how we found out about our precious little one, plus symptoms and the equipment/products we’ve acquired so far.
**Keep in mind this is a pregnancy update, and naturally will contain info that might be a bit TMI for some.
For more updates, be sure to check back here or on my youtube channel next week, or find more blog posts on blind parenting here.
Working out which buggy/pram/stroller to get was one of the first challenges that came to mind after finding out we were expecting. As a blind mama, I won’t be pushing a stroller, but pulling it behind me. The problem is most strollers are not designed for this sort of functionality. For that reason, I plan to use a baby-carrier in most situations, but more on that in another post. Back to buggies.
The Problem with Pulling a Stroller that’s Designed for Pushing
In most cases, strollers are designed with swivel wheels in the front that move easily in the direction you desire to travel, if you are pushing from the back, that is. If you are pulling it, the swivel wheels become a nuisance because they fishtail every time you try to turn. In addition, the fixed wheels in the back of the stroller make it difficult to turn because they do not move in accordance with your direction of travel. This means that the only way to turn while pulling is to lift the stroller slightly or allow the stroller to tip somewhat to one side. Obviously, this isn’t ideal.
Many strollers have two vertical handles to push the chair along. These models are virtually impossible to pull comfortably as you have to choose a side, left or right, that you will use, leaving your control of the contraption quite lopsided.
Another problem with prams is that the handle is often too high to comfortably grasp from behind. If you think about a pull suitcase, one can hold the handle easily at the resting length of one’s own arm, but often times a stroller handle is waste height or higher (at least for anyone like me who’s a few inches below average height).
Direction of Chair or Carry Cot
Some buggies have a fixed facing position for the chair or carry cot and do not allow the user to reverse their original positioning. This means that while your child may have been facing the most desirable direction when pushing the buggy, they may not be facing the direction you or your child would like when pulling it.
There are strollers with features that ameliorate some or all of these issues, but in my experience so far, they are often much more expensive.
So, What Are the Solutions?
1 Wheels that can be adjusted from swivel to fixed in both the front and back of the stroller. If this is not possible, a reversible handle may also be a functional option. If the stroller is a model which has fixed wheels in the back when pushing, and swivel wheels in the front, a reversible handle allows the user to place the swivel wheels nearest the handle, that is toward the front when pulling, and the fixed wheels furthest from the handle, or in the back when pulling.
2 A horizontal push bar. This allows the user to pull from the center of the handle, rather than only from the left or right side.
3 A low, hip-high handle (or lower if possible) that can be adjusted to be higher/longer only if need-be
4 Reversable chair or carry cot. This allows the user to switch the facing direction of the chair or cot independent of the stroller handle.
5 Buy used! I knew this could be one of the priciest items on our baby must-haves list, so I decided to research which stroller I needed as early as possible so that I could be looking out for a suitable model on second-hand websites. I’m SO GLAD I did! Our chosen model, the Bugaboo Chameleon, retails online for around 800 euro. We were blessed to find an older version of the stroller and several handy excessories online for a grand total of 50 euro.
Another option you might consider is to purchase a travel wagon. They do tend to be bulkier than your typical stroller, but they definitely seem more practical when you have multiple children to cart around, and, of course the best thing about them is that they are designed specifically to be pulled. Keep in mind, though, that many of them have limitations when it comes to traveling with a newborn.
In every case, don’t forget to consider which carseat you plan to purchase and whether it will be compatible with the stroller or wagon you choose.
I hope this post was helpful! Please subscribe for more content, and click here to read more posts from my parenting blind series. Until next time, happy trails to you and your family.
A little story I wrote for a blog I contributed to. The blog is no longer running so I decided to republish it here. Enjoy.
Prim has consistently been rather stubborn about going to church. When I asked my trainer about it, she suggested that perhaps Prim simply wasn’t religious. I laughed at that, but it wasn’t a sufficient explanation, especially when I realized that Prim was somewhat unwilling to walk the route from church, as well as to church. Today I figured out why.
Our walk to church includes traversing several sets of steps, the top level of a parking garage, and a long, side-walkless driveway, one that is consistently populated by church-goers’ vehicles leaving and entering our parking lot. Because there is no sidewalk, we are forced to stick as close as we can to the edge of the road. Prim is trained to do this. It’s a technique called “shore-lining”, but she is still not satisfied. She often stops in the parking lot or veers to the grass when she sees an idoling car, as I think she recognizes it as a threat. Well, one day on our way out of church, Prim decided to take matters into her own paws. Despite my direction to walk straight, across the parking lot and along the driveway, Prim insisted upon turning left. Curious, I trusted her and followed.
“Let’s go home.”
I said, hopefully, even though I didn’t actually know whether we could get back to our appartment this way. She led me along a brief strip of parkinglot, then pulled me strongly to the right to step onto a sidewalk. I couldn’t help but laugh. We stuck to the sidewalk, made a right, then walked another good distance, until Prim pulled right again and I recognized the slant of our leasing office parking lot beneath my feet, and a minute later reached out to feel the gate that would take us into our complex.
We had never walked that route before, but somehow Prim knew we could get home that way, and knew it was safer with side walks. She won’t let us walk any other way now. I love my safety conscious canine.
Sometimes, it’s fun to envision what life would have been like a hundred or more years ago. Imagine a life without digital media, for example, or consider how different transportation was when cars had only just been invented. What interests me, though, is how life must have been different for the blind.
Some blind people did live independently, had children, and held jobs, like the famous hymn writer Fanny Crosby. But what was it like?
On the one hand, I’m a bit jealous. Any society before the invention of cars must have been a great deal more pedestrian friendly, and therefore, blind-friendly, even in the absence of modern infrastructure. On the other hand, I wonder how blind people managed without ways to independently access printed materials around them, or easily produce them on their own.
I’ve written a few songs in my time—it’s hard to avoid when you live in music city—but Fanny Crosby had over 8000 hymns published! Then, she would have had to memorize all of her texts and music, written it down in braille and had it transcribed, dictated it to a sighted person to pen them, or penned them herself. Of course, the only way she could have accessed them again would be through her memory, braille, or a sighted reader. Evidently, her memory was impeccable. According to the website I referenced earlier, she memorized five chapters of the Bible a week.
I definitely do not exercise my memory quite that often or to that extent, so perhaps that’s another advantage that antiquity has over modernity for blind folk. Otherwise, I’m thankful that now a days, accessible technology means that I can easily record music (even as I write it) on my phone, type the lyrics into my computer, review what I have written, and share them with sighted friends, all independently and with very little extra effort on my part.
I am especially thankful for the way assistive tech has made the bible available to the blind in a way it never has been before. I don’t have to carry volumes and volumes of braille bibles around with me to have constant access to the word of God, nor do I have to have it read to me and memorize five chapters a week, though there’s no doubt that would be a profitable exercise. But no. All I have to do is have a charged iPhone with a wifi connection, safari or a bible app, and voila. The whole word of God is at my fingertips…
“Open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of your law.” (Psalm 119:18)
He has made his word known to us, and not only known, but accessible for study, teaching, comfort, evangelism, truth. Accessible technology means I, along with other blind people, get to behold the wondrous things of his law by myself, on my own time, in essentially whatever format I choose, and whichever book or verse I prefer to study. I do not think there is any more valuable gift.
And I will lead the blind in a way that they do not know, in paths that they have not known I will guide them. I will turn the darkness before them into light, the rough places into level ground. These are the things I do, and I do not forsake them. (Isaiah 42:16)
We visited Yorktown on Friday. No no, not Yorktown like from Hamilton, Yorktown, New York. I know. These things can get confusing. Friday was our day for night travel, so we did the route in the daylight early in the morning, then repeated it after the sun went down that night. In between we had our visits with the vet.
Prim was very excited about the new route, so we worked on, you guessed it, steady. She did the route very well, only overstepping one curb and not at all distracted by the grass and street furniture that we passed. We encountered one loud truck that she stopped for, even though we were on the sidewalk. She was just being a bit cautious, I think leftover from our traffic check activity on Thursday. The night route went similarly, other than the fact that it was dark, but that didn’t change much about my perspective really. Our trainer huffed and puffed behind us like usual, and we had a blast.
At the vet, I learned Prim’s weight, birth date, and health history. The vet gave her a full physical, and pronounced her healthy but for a slight ear infection in one ear. She will be on medication for that for the next several days and we will visit the vet a second time before we leave to make sure it is all cleared up… which reminds me. I need to choose a vet for Prim in Nashville. If anyone has any good recommendations, please let me know. Oleta had a vet in Nashville that we loved and appreciated, but I would be interested in looking into others. Crazy, but I do need to start thinking about getting settled in at home. Only a week left of training now!
Saturday morning brought the first obedience session with some level of distraction. Our class supervisor tried to catch Padawan’s attention by bouncing a tennis ball all around us while we concentrated on our commands. She did look once or twice, but got refocused quickly. Everything this dog does is quick. She is like a jack-in-the-box when she sits up during obedience. She takes off like a rocket when she is working. She spins around and throws herself to the ground in seconds when I tell her “close” (which is the command to lay between my feet under a chair). She does everything enthusiastically and virtually nothing halfway (hahaha, other than when she doesn’t want to lay down, that is, and remains for a minute or more in the downward dog position in order to trick me into thinking she’s all the way down).
We had a route in White Plains in the morning. It started out as a relaxed Saturday morning route, with little traffic and fewer pedestrians, but we soon ran into several challenges. The first was the construction. A fence blocked off an entire section of the sidewalk, so Padawan had to stop and show me the fence before we could go around to the curb. She did so, but when we arrived at the curb there was a loud engine being used in the construction zone and I could not hear a thing in order to make the decision to cross the street. My trainer helped me so that we wouldn’t have to stand there all morning. Padawan didn’t seem bothered by the noise. A block or two down, Padawan approached the curb and veered a little to the right. I was not sure we had approached it correctly until my trainer informed me that there were two pigeons standing right where she would normally have stopped at the curb. She had treated them as an obstacle so as not to get in trouble for going after pigeons. She is too cute!!!
Evidently, she did not have the same reservations a block or two on from that when she glimpsed a pair of dogs ahead of us. Her pace increased to warp speed. Needless to say that when the next curb arrived, we both ended up with our feet in the street, rather than the sidewalk, by the time we managed to stop for the curb. We walked back several paces and approached the curb again with a steady command, and she fixed her mistake. Later though, Padawan was in a sit waiting for a fellow classmate to go on ahead of us (we tend to catch up with people) when a pigeon landed about a foot away. She thought it was great fun to watch him, but didn’t move a muscle to chase or lunge at him. Good girl! I was also very pleased with her reaction to a complicated traffic situation at one crossing. There was a bus at a bus stop, and a mail truck was pulled up behind it waiting to make a delivery. That placed it right to the left of us as we approached the far curb on the crosswalk. With that on our left and turning cars on our right, it got a bit narrow and Padawan ran for it. I did not treat her for it since she missed the curb, but honestly I was just glad she got us out of there. My trainer and I agreed that it was a fairly appropriate response given everything going on. I love working this dog.
In the afternoon, our mystery work was practice with the clicker/targeting as well as a supervised grooming session. A clicker is a small plastic box with a button that makes a loud popping sound when pressed. The dogs have learned to associate the sound with food. It is used as a marker during training to indicate to the dog that, at the moment of the click, they were demonstrating a desired behavior and will receive a food reward. Targeting is teaching a dog to recognize and target a certain thing according to it’s name. For example, Padawan has already learned generic targets like curbs, doors, and steps. If they are in the general vicinity, she can recognize a door and take me to it when I say, “too the door”. If taught, she can also target particular doors and other objects. Yesterday we worked on my dorm room door specifically. I placed my fist on the door and told Padawan “touch”, which prompts her to bop my fist with her nose. This helps her to understand that I want her to target the thing under my fist. When she response to the touch command, I click and feed. After a few repetitions, I added in the word “door”, and then took away the touch command all together and only said, “door”, still clicking and feeding when she bopped my fist. After a few times doing that, I backed up from the door, picked up the harness handle, and told her, “too the door”. We continued like that several times over,backing up further and further first in one direction and then in another, until it was pretty clear she knew exactly what I wanted from her. I have to remember to slow her down a bit with the “steady” command, because we get going so quickly it becomes difficult for her to turn and target with so much momentum. She LOVES targeting and I can’t wait to see her show me her awesome skills with other things as well.